Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

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MCTDread
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by MCTDread » Thu Feb 05, 2015 1:07 am

Dos Equis quotes

Cuba imports cigars from him. Mosquitos refuse to bite him purely out of respect. In museums, he is allowed to touch the art.

He has won the lifetime achievement award, twice. He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks. His Pinatas fight back.

HE IS THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD

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Vent Noir
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by Vent Noir » Mon Feb 09, 2015 4:03 am

The opening stanza of the classic Australian poem, "The Man From Snowy River":

There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the colt from old Regret had got away,
And had joined the wild bush horses - he was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted riders from the stations near and far
Had mustered at the homestead overnight,
For the bushmen love hard riding where the wild bush horses are,
And the stockhorse snuffs the battle with delight.
Vent Noir

@AJDynon on Twitter

April 7, 1979: The first episode of Mobile Suit Gundam premieres. Fanboys declare Gundam "Ruined FOREVER".

Cultclassic
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by Cultclassic » Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:24 pm

This episode of Gundamn brought to you by Lasik. Lasik corrects your eyesight so you don't have to wear your nostalgia glasses anymore. It works by firing lasers at your eyes forcing you to continually experience the decade you want.
Endorsed by Soulbro.

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YokozunaBulldozer
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by YokozunaBulldozer » Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:09 pm

MacGruber!
Making life saving inventions out of household materials
MacGruber!
Getting in and out of ultra sticky situations
MacGruber!
The Guy's a Friggin Genious
MACGRUBER!!!!!!!
Last edited by YokozunaBulldozer on Wed May 27, 2015 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
SIXSHOT HAS NO GAME AGAINST SEVEN CHANGER

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Tue May 26, 2015 9:10 am

And now, a tribute to PT/Silent Hills (R.I.P.):
(SoulBro, please add this in.)

1. I walked. I could do nothing but walk. And then, I saw me walking in front of myself. But it wasn't really me. Watch out. The gap in the door... it's a separate reality. The only me is me. Are you sure the only you is you?

2. Dad was such a drag. Every day he'd eat the same kind of food, dress the same, sit in front of the same kind of games... Yeah, he was just that kind of guy. But then one day, he goes and kills us all! He couldn't even be original about the way he did it. I'm not complaining... I was dying of boredom anyway, But guess what? I will be coming back, and I'm bringing my new toys with me.

The Shade
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by The Shade » Sat Jun 13, 2015 7:48 am

Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum & villainy.

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zero_the_masked_knight
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by zero_the_masked_knight » Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:22 pm

From 1984. Slightly shortened. If you still feel it's too long, please feel free to skip.

Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery is torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress towards more pain. The old civilizations claimed that they were founded on love or justice. Ours is founded upon hatred. In our world there will be no emotions except fear, rage, triumph, and self-abasement.... There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated enemy....But always -- do not forget this, Winston -- always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face -- for ever.
Seeing people for who they are; not who you think they are, not what you want them to be. Seeing someone unconditionally, without paranoia, without prejudice, without stereotypes, without fear...That's what "love" is.
"Love" is looking into a person's eyes and seeing a soul.

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YokozunaBulldozer
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by YokozunaBulldozer » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:39 pm

Hi I'm Suga Akira.
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Have you always dreamed of riding convertibles?
Well no more worries!
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Call 1-800-SUGA-FTW and I Suga Akira will personally drive you to your destination like a cheetah that has activated trans-am.
Enjoy the finest life has to offer while you and I chat about life or Gundam trivia.
If you have no money on you no worries!
Just pay me in high grade kits or a perfect grade if you feel generous.
Call now and I will build you a free gunpla after the ride.
Call now!
SIXSHOT HAS NO GAME AGAINST SEVEN CHANGER

Xaldron
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by Xaldron » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:14 am

Lord Chris asked for it... so pick your poison.

Season 1
"My name is Oliver Queen. For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal: survive. Now I will fulfill my father's dying wish. To use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become.. something else."

Season 2
"My name is Oliver Queen. After five years on a hellish island, I have come home with only one goal: to save my city. But to do so, I can't be the killer I once was. To honor my friend's memory, I must be someone else. I must be... something else."

Season 3
"My name is Oliver Queen. After five years in hell, I have come home with only one goal: to save my city. Now others have joined my crusade. To them I'm Oliver Queen. To the rest of Starling City, I am someone else. I am... something else."

"My name was Oliver Queen. For three years I worked to save my city, but to save my sister I had to become someone else. I had to become... something else."

"My name is Oliver Queen. After five years in hell, I returned home with only one goal: to save my city. And I did, I became a hero who helped people. But now it's time for me to be someone else. It's time for me to be something else."

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Sun Jun 21, 2015 11:08 am

(Source: Ode to Melancholy by John Keats)

Aye, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovereign shrine,
Though seen of none, save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;
His soul shall taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

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The Fowl Sorcerous
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by The Fowl Sorcerous » Wed Jun 24, 2015 11:14 am

Donde, está, la biblioteca. Me llamo T-Bone La araña discoteca. Discoteca, muñeca, La biblioteca Está en bigotes grandes, el perro, manteca. Manteca, bigotes, gigante, pequeño, la cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno. Buenos dias, me gusta papas frías, los bigotes de la cabra Es Cameron Diaz.

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zero_the_masked_knight
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by zero_the_masked_knight » Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:48 am

Lucifer's monologue from Sandman and also Lucifer.

You also rule a world, Morpheus. A world of sleepers and dreamers, of stories. A simple place compared to Hell. I envy you. Can you imagine what it was like? Ten Billion Years spent providing a place for dead mortals to torture themselves? And like all masochists, they called the shots. "Burn Me." "Freeze me." "Eat Me." "Hurt Me." And we did. Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spent my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. "The devil made me do it." I have never made one of them do anything. Never. And then they come here, having transgressed against what they believed to be right and expect us to fulfill their desire for pain and retribution. I don't make them come here. They talk of me going around and buying souls like a fishwife come market day. Never stopping to ask themselves why. I need no souls. And how can anyone own a soul? No, they belong to themselves. They just hate to have to face up to it.
Seeing people for who they are; not who you think they are, not what you want them to be. Seeing someone unconditionally, without paranoia, without prejudice, without stereotypes, without fear...That's what "love" is.
"Love" is looking into a person's eyes and seeing a soul.

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:09 am

Good evening, Gotham and Gothamites everywhere! Thought I'd take some time out of my oh-so-busy schedule to say 'hi' and make a few...not - so - veiled threats. So, hello, goodbye, you're all going to die. Ah ha ha ha ha~!

Oh- sorry, sorry, sometimes I just kill me...especially when I think about killing you. But hey, before we get to the wholesale destruction part of our experience, let's pick out a few of our favorite sons for a special shout-out. Henry Clairidge, I'm looking at you old boy! And your future looks dim indeed. In fact, if I were a psychic I'd say that bell would certainly be tolling for thee tonight at midnight.

Oh, what the hell I'll say it anyway- you die at midnight, Henry! And then we can have a good laugh at your expense! BANG!

(SoulBro, insert 'boing' noise here, please)

The heck is this?!

*Sigh*

Guess you just can't trust old ammo. Luckily, I brought back-up. Ah ha ha ha ha~!

(aaaand gunshot noise goes here)

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:36 am

H'okay, so here's the Earth, chilling- damn, that is a sweet Earth you might say- ROUND!

Ruling out the ice caps melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the ozone layer leaving, and the sun exploding, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up. H'okay, so basically we've got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the UK, and us. With nukes. We've got about twenty-six hundred more than anybody else...whatever. Anyway, one day we decides those Chinese sons of a bitches are going down. So we launch a nuke at China.

While it's on its way, China's like 'ZOINKS, ZOINKS, who the ZOINKS is shooting us?' 'Oh well, fire missiles!'

Then France is like 'ZOINKS guys, the missiles are coming! Fire our ZOINKS!' 'But I am le tired...' 'Well, have a nap THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!'

Meanwhile, Australia is down there like 'W-T-F mates?', India, Israel, and Pakistan launch their ZOINKS so now we've got missiles flying everywhere passin' each other, Russia's like 'AHH MOTHERLAND', then England's like 'Bout that time, eh chaps?'

'Righto'

So now the US is like 'ZOINKS, we're dumbasses', Canada's like 'what's going on, eh?', Australia's still like 'WTF', Mars is laughing at us, and some huge meteor's like 'well ZOINKS that!'

So, now we got nuclear winter, everyone's dead except Australia, and they're still like 'WTF'. But they'll be dead soon.



ZOINKS kangaroos....

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YokozunaBulldozer
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by YokozunaBulldozer » Sun Jul 05, 2015 4:19 am

-some time in the future-

"When I was a young boy, we used to build robots with our hands.
Our blood and sweat was invested for weeks making sure the surfaces were silky smooth and the paint job was on point.
We would be pitted against each other in good sportsmanship mano a mano, although occasionally there were a few sour apples but they never lasted long.
When times were dire we joined forces and got it on like Gravion to take down menacing threats.
Ohh, those were the days."

"But grandpa Sei, weren't you about 15? No way would you have had the money let alone the time to build such a robot back in the days in a short period of time."

"Absolutely. They were toys my boy, just toys. I was darn lucky my pappy owned a gundamn store that sold those little buggers and your granny thought I was the second coming of Michelangelo. But that is a story for another day. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN YA WHIPPERSNAPPER. Ohh, the carpel tunnel is killing me gundamnit. China! Do you know where my vitamins are?"
SIXSHOT HAS NO GAME AGAINST SEVEN CHANGER

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Tue Jul 07, 2015 2:46 pm

(On behalf of Yokozuna Bulldozer, I'm submitting some highlights from GTA 5's in-game radio talk shows.)

"It all makes sense, 'cause you eat peanut butter ice cream, you gon' get diarrhea! And you gon' have ants in your pants."

"...Are they eating the butter?"

"They eatin' the ZOINKS! Whatchu think they eatin'!? ANTS EAT YO' ZOINKS 'cause you done ate that peanut butter and that damn ice cream."


----------------

Don't you go disrespecting coconut water. That's the nectar of the gods from places that are mad spiritual, with bacon sun and drum circles and where you can swim with dolphins. Dolphins! Wuvuvuvuvu! Wuvuvuvu! And communicate with them! Swim with them and communicate with the dolphins! Dolphins are delivering babies, you punk-ass.

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Vent Noir
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by Vent Noir » Wed Jul 08, 2015 4:31 am

Muttley, you snickering, fluffy-eared hound
When courage is needed you're never around
Those medals you wear on your moth-eaten chest
Should be there for bungling at which you are best!

So...
Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon!
Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon how?
Nab him, jab him, tab him, grab him!
Stop that pigeon now!

You, Silly, stop sneaking, it's not worth the chance
For you'll be returned by the seat of your pants!
And Clunk, you invent me a thingamabob
That catches that pigeon or I'll lose my job!

So...
Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon!
Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon! Stop the pigeon how?
Nab him, jab him, tab him, grab him!
Stop that pigeon now!
Vent Noir

@AJDynon on Twitter

April 7, 1979: The first episode of Mobile Suit Gundam premieres. Fanboys declare Gundam "Ruined FOREVER".

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Fri Jul 10, 2015 5:02 pm

I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well.

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fearjunkee
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by fearjunkee » Fri Jul 24, 2015 2:31 pm

I come from the Net. Through systems, people, and cities, to this place - Mainframe. My format, Guardian: To mend and defend. To defend my new found friends, their hopes and dreams, and to defend them from their enemies. They say The User lives outside the Net and inputs games for pleasure. No one knows for sure, but I intend to find out. ReBoot!

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YokozunaBulldozer
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Re: Old Timey Drama Hour Submission Thread

Post by YokozunaBulldozer » Sun Jul 26, 2015 4:00 am

From the other guys
-------------------------------------

OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean.
Lions don't like water.
If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense.
But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10.
And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion.
We've talked to ourselves.
We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'.
We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
SIXSHOT HAS NO GAME AGAINST SEVEN CHANGER

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